The Internet’s been so bonkers. One minute it’s fine, (and really fast) but the next, it’s gone. It’s like when someone gives you your favourite candy and in the midst of enjoying the rich cherry flavour, that person snatches it back before you even get to the bubble gum in the center.

As some of you might already aware of, I like to create things. Though I know I’m not as great as many other hobbyists, I know I’m good to a certain extend. I know that I have taste, but I have yet to express it. I won’t call myself a fashion designer even though I design my own patterns now because I’m not even sure if I’m making clothes or fashion. Fashion are not clothes and vice versa. Fashion is more than just clothes. There’s something about it that makes people very nervous about. Clothes are just something that people wear. There are cute clothes and ugly clothes. And there’s fashion.

Anyway, the thing is, I get demotivated really easily, especially when that criticism comes from people whom I care about, like my mum. I think she doesn’t really know the art of criticism that what she says can be harsh and insulting. Lets say when I try to pitch her my ideas about my projects, she goes to saying something rather negative directly, often short without any explanation. Sure, it does make me take a step back and rethink but mostly, it stirs the impression that maybe I’m just not good enough. I’m already hearing criticism or comments from other people and all I want to hear is a bit of confident boost so that I’ll make something better in that direction.Despite all that, in the end, I still manage to find strength to work my way through it, and kick ass.

Telling my mum about my next garment making project isn’t going to do me any good as she doesn’t see my point of view. I regret the fact that I consulted her and well, it influenced my direction and I was mislead. In the end, I hated the result, thinking I should’ve made it what I wanted it to be in the first place. Sometimes I know what she says is true but I was in denial. I learn things on my own, a self-taught and along the way, sometimes I make mistakes and stumble. But that’s okay, I should allow myself to make mistakes.

So, in short, the lesson learned is:

a) When in doubt, keep it simple.

b) When something doesn’t feel right, it doesnt. Follow your guts. Learn to trust your instincts.

c) Plan ahead, and go for it.

And I think, these three lessons are applicable for many cases.

The reason why I’m writing this is because I made a few clothes over the weeks and I have one that’s unfinished because I really hate it and do not even wish to continue working on it cause I feel like it’s not worth it, (there goes 30 bucks of fabric). One, which I’m not too sure of, I think it looks too androgynous but the fit is great. Another one that I can’t decide whether to hate it or love it because I screwed up the fit and it went off a lil’ bit and I’m just a goddamn perfectionist.

On the bright side, I’ve lost a few kilos (and a bit of boobies) so I enjoy looking at my stripped bod in front of the mirror right now, (except after I had lunch) imagining myself having those hate-it-or-love-it stick figure bods we see on the runway. I know I sound vain, but deep down, aren’t we all?  We just hate to admit it.

p.s, I want to fly to US , buy a whole lot of Aldo shoes and live with them.

I made a dress a while ago, way before I made a dress for Cindy as her birthday present. I’ve been so busy afterwards, that I wasn’t able to update. Fret not, it’s here now! I’ll probably update on Cindy’s dress when we have time to photograph her in the dress later. 🙂

The first garment I made is a super short shift dress. I love the print, I find it cute and complicated, yet still subtle. It’s a pretty print and looks a lil’ ethnic, too. The fabric is really thin so it’s suitable to wear under the hot sun. All in all, it’s a comfy piece of top dress!

I also sewed in some buttons and added pockets shaped like the fish-like print on the fabric.

.. and a lil’ button closure at the back.

Next, is a sweet, romantic and pretty dress. Again, I made the pattern myself from scratch.

As always, I like to mix two things together. And as for this dress I love the juxtaposition of the structured pleats on the bodice and the more soft, flowy silhouette  of the gathered skirt. The initial idea was that it was supposed to be a pleated skirt but the I transferred the pattern wrongly, so I had to compromise and gathered the skirt instead. It was kinda a risk cause it could border to looking maternally. I thought it was gonna be really ugly and I was about to give up and buy a new fabric to start over (typical me) but it’s a RM36-per-metter-cotton, for god’s sake! So, I made it work, and it actually turned out better than the initial design. I had fun doing all the pleating details on the neckline. 😀

I also love the A-shaped silhouette, because it compliments my body. I’m very pleased with the result. I think it looks like it just came out of a store. My sewing skills has improved a lot and I’m so proud of it. Oh, and I actually sewed an invisible zipper at the back only to find out that I didn’t need it at all as the waist is loose and the the neckline is big enough. Oh well, at least I can take it off really fast when I need to, if you know what I mean 😉

Okay, now, let me know what you think alright? and I welcome any form of encouragement! 🙂

And oh if you’re a seamstress or know any good one lemme know about your blog because I wanna make a new blog list for it.

BYE!

A week prior to presentation day.

Yes, I’ve been missing for quite a while. and I’m still very much alive. hoho. So, the week before my Studio 1 final project was really hectic. I spent  four days doing my model only to realize the measurements were so messed up I couldn’t even assemble the pieces, and re-doing the model was the only worthy thing to do.

So, after I realized I only had exactly less than 48 hours to do my model AND presentation board, I spent about 2 hours of my time panicking in the middle of the night. Out of desperation, I called a few of friends to come over and help me. To cut the story short, Syad, Syida helped me with the site model. Eddie and Mediha helped me with the model. On Thursday, which was the submission day, I was very much behind, so much, that Eddie was willing to take an emergency leave to come over and help finish the model.  My mum and my sister helped as well. A million thanks to them for all the help and support. Love them much!

In short, it was really really hard for me. There was always something else that happened to make the whole process… challenging. There was lots of sweat, tears and burns, literally. I even fell sick for a day and a half while I was working on it and it sucked, yeah. I even almost gave up cause I  thought my design was really bad. haha.

Presentation Day.

on wall: A0 presentation board. on table: 1:100 study models, sketches compilations, drawings, portfolio, and 1:50 final model

I wasn’t quite confident about my design, but I tried to console myself. Forced other people to tell me that I’m awesome (haha) and after a few jumping jacks outside of the classroom, I regained a bit confidence and presented. In the end,  I did quite well, I think. One of the critiques liked my design and she said that my design was quite mature and that I’ve put a lot of thoughts into it.  Coming from her, I do feel it’s quite a big compliment and I’m so glad. 🙂

Click to enlarge. 🙂

I’m pretty much proud of it. Whatever the grades turn out to be, so be it. I gave my best (tho I know there’s always a room for more).

Oh, and in case if you’re curious, the house is based on the concept of Illusion of Vertigo. Basically I was trying to make the house to act like an adrenaline rush generator. It’ll be located on the edge of a sea cliff and it’s gonna be really exhilarating to be in the house.

Okay, now, let’s move on.

After the presentation day, I’ve been spending my time going out with my sister. I bought a Pattern Making for Fashion Designers book and it’s been really helpful for my recent project, though it’s only a shift dress but it’s satisfying the fact that I drafted everything myself. hehe.

my sister, Arina

me, a little koo-koo. as always.

I wanted to put a sneak preview of my newly sewn dress but the pictures turned out blurry so… no peek-a-boo. sorry! and.. err… don’t ask me why I’m putting up the pictures instead. haha. ok bye.

pssst, I’m currently in Port Dickson at the moment. Aida wanted to go to the beach so my dad made a last-minute short trip here. lol.

and I accidentally disabled commenting. WTF. grrr…

Eddie and I were strolling in Ikea, finding some new furniture for my new room. It was sooo tiring. Ikea is big, and I didn’t have any idea what I was looking for. All I had were a function list and a the measurements of my rooms. On top of that, I was also on a tight budget. So, we had to find everything, analyze, calculate each and everything, see the pros and cons, the sustainability, accessibility, usability, everything, and buy only what I need. Yes, that’s a very hard thing to do for me. Eddie was smart tho. He’s very critical and helped me find just the thing for my room. 🙂

Anyway, It was about within the last 30 minutes before we bought everything when I was standing still thinking about my options. We were already drained by then. Eddie at that time was more or less 4 feet away from me. Suddenly, I heard Eddie yelled, “JANGAN LANGGAR KAKAK TU!”

I turned, and to my surprise, I saw a boy, who was just about  7 years old pushing the trolley slowly and looking at Eddie, terrified. After the boy walked past me, I asked him,

Me: Eddie, what happened?
Eddie: Ohh, that kid was going quite fast with the trolley. So I told him to slow down.
Me: Oh? I didn’t see..
Eddie: Yes… but he slowed down when he got near you.
Me: oh okay.

I kept quiet. Trying to digest. A min later, I talked to him.

Me: Eddie, did you know you just yelled at the poor kid?
Eddie: What? No? I thought I was speaking softly.
Me: umm no, it was like a loud, strong, authoritative command. Well, loud enough for me to hear at least.
Eddie: Oh really? I didn’t realize!
Me: Hun, he was just a kid.
Eddie: I know! But I was scared he might hit you. He was going dangerously fast and you were in his path.
Me: OMG you yelled at kid because of that?!
Eddie: Yeaaaah…

HAHAHA I burst into laughter. We both did. We laughed about how protective Eddie was being even though he was worn out and that was just a kid! I know Eddie could be protective. But, I never thought he’d be protective to that extend! Poor random kid, he got scolded because someone’s boyfriend is too protective. Garang betul abang ni. hahaha

Such a sweetheart.

p.s, so so super tired. gonna watch Gossip Girl’s latest episode and sleep! taaaa