I was so nervous as I walked down the stairs to the living room where all the families & guests were. My dad, tok kadi and my then fiancé were in the middle of the room. I sat down at the corner with my beautiful closest friends and watched my then fiancé closely, almost unbelieving. 10th September 2011, marked the day I became a wife, barely a month after my 21st birthday.

20 years old and I already made the biggest decision in my life; to get married. Everybody kept telling me that I’m too young. I had no idea what to expect and how it was going to change my life. For sure, I knew it will change my life a way or another.

After we got engaged, my life went upside down. Our relationship changed, and it was the hardest time of my life. We stumble, we fell, and we fought, hard, most of the time. And I was having inner conflicts with my decision whether or not to go on with the decision. My biggest conflicts were; How? Who? & What?
1. How is this decision gonna change my life;
2. Is he the right person, and;
3. Will I be happy?

He was lost, too. I knew because he became different, and that worsened my doubts but I guess so was I. Throughout the end, we finally burst and  at the edge of breaking up. At that time I thought we were over.

But, I had faith in us, and we’d find ourselves back. And we did. Just two weeks before the wedding, I got him back. I could tell that he knew he got me back.

As he accepted the solemnization, I felt this deep feeling like a kind of happiness I had never felt before. I looked at him like I had never looked at him before. Then, I realized that I found peace within myself. All the doubts and conflicts I had before just went away.

Now, we are savouring each other’s presence. Going to bed and waking up to each other everyday is a bliss. There, my happiest moment in my life was the very moment I became his wife. Surely, this beautiful moment will be cherished forever, thanks to technology.

I was digging through the piles of boxes, looking for a box to put my studio materials. The store area under the stairs where dark and full of spider webs. Small ones big ones, ugly ones, naah.  Then I saw just the perfect box. I tried to reach it with my hands but I couldnt. So I stretched my left leg and tried to take it out using my feet.

Then I felt a tiny mass crawling on my ankle and down to my foot. It’s a spider, I can feel it. A pretty big one. I was so stunned I was afraid to even move. And then, the spider slowly, injected its venom into my foot. I panicked but still couldn’t dare to move my left foot. I was raging, my right leg already kicking. I wanted to get out of here.

“B, there’s a spider! There’s a spider!” I screamed and cried while tapping the floor with my hands and kicking my right leg. My left foot remained still. I could still feel the spider. Eddie came to me and asked what wrong. “There’s a spider, there! My foot! spider, foot!” I pointed. I was crying out of panic. I thought the spider was going to kill me. and then, he said, “Honey, there’s no spider under the blanket,”

I couldn’t believe what he said and started crying louder. He got up to my legs, and swept everything off my legs. “It’s my foot! Left foot!” I screamed.

“Honey, there’s no spider. See, it’s nothing. No spider. Don’t cry, okay?” I opened my eyes and saw that he pushed the blanket to the floor and no spider. I moved my left leg and I felt nothing. Immediately, I stopped crying as I realized it was just a dream. He then pulled the blanket back up, hugged me and we both went back to sleep.

I saw this campaign on Sue Anna Joe’s blog recently, and I thought it’s brilliant! It sickens me to see hijabis wearing tight jeans with their bumbums showing, swinging side to side as they walk. It may look sexy, but it contradicts a muslimah’s identity albeit, I’m no exception and guilty as charged.

Surely, it’s hard (atleast for me) but I’m trying and this is a good reminder for me and all of us muslim girls. So, together, let’s spread this to our sisters! 😉

I was procrastinating my work by playing with my husband’s Canon 60D while he was out working. I’ve always been amazed by the HD video quality wanted to play with it and hopefully able to do some video editing. I also wanted to practice talking infront of camera because I always FAILLLLL big time at that.

However, still being me, I still don’t have the guts to speak right infront of camera so I did a makeup demo instead. haha. I still hope to be able to face that weakness of mine somewhere in the future. So, in the mean time, try to enjoy the video! haha :p

You know what, scrap all the BS above. This is my excuse to play “dress up” with myself (HA-HA!). Another option would be camwhoring cause I’ve got no real life friends and I’m cool like that. yeaaah…..

I need to go out with my girls T_T